yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
try to milk me bitch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
