that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
