Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
