Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
