Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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