They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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