3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
