uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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