And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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