He had one of those small greek statue penises
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
