Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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