am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
