Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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