Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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