i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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