i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
