Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
