It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it was like eating out sand paper
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
