I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
