Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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