good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
