It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
In America we eat man semen.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize