I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
