I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
