Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
