thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
