Welp...herpes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
