They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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