Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
