you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
