Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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