Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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