we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
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Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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