Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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