I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
