the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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