Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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