I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
