I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize