I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
