I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
