You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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