Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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