Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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