Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
