We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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