You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize