Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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