I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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