put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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