Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When are your genitals available?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
