Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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