already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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