Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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