I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
