So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
