haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
