Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
