When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
