He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
