You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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